Fragile Feelings

Fragile Feelings

You can only imagine how the world is with thousands of people in it but the very thought that among those thousands of gazillions of people , you are only destined to meet and love only one soul, ( or two,or three , oh screw it! let’s say many if it would be an option, you player!curses you!!hehehe..just kidding.). But still whatever path we may choose it always comes down to one thing, we always put our precious feelings on the line.

When we were young we often hear the words puppy love, young love and crushes. Its the era where feelings are unstable or should I say unstoppable that even that cute boy you were sitting next to your science class could be easily replaced in just a minute by that hunk coach on your P.E. class, this is the time where love letters run-a-mock and exchanging “I LIKE YOU” seems to be a bad habit. Oh yes! those were the days of sweet innocence, when we were young, happy.  I must admit I was even exposed to this, well if your normal then you should at least have been through these times. Reading through all those sweet valley high novels and getting all the inspiration you need, oh no stephanie meyer “vampires” were not hot on our time and I am pretty sure that the beyond perfect guy masochist of fifty shades of grey was not something to be thrilled and dreamed about  by most girls. In these times I could remember that I LOVE YOU was a huge word, that most of us would profoundly confuse it with “hey I JUST LIKE YOU” or “you’re my type”. Well maybe most of us may have our heart broken by the simple “my crush has a different crush” , yes these were our problems when we were young and innocent. We even might have thought that the world might end just simply because our 6 yrs crush is going to high school and you unluckily are 1 yr younger than him. now don’t you just wish these was your heart problems now? but I am sure we all have moved on from our young love, well have you?

Then Loving becomes more complex , we hit high school and the pressure is ON! This  is what I call the “CRUCIAL TIMES” where everything, and almost anyone you probably know or knew had struggled so much. All the pressure of peers, of all the changes your body was undergoing, and to top all that this was the time you really first knew LOVE and HURT both at the same time. It was an unforgiving episodes of unfortunate events where you like the person that likes someone else, and the person that likes you, you abhor so much.

I was a late bloomer, I first knew what all the fuss was about when I was in 2nd yr HS (I’m not so sure, my memory betrays me as always),  who wouldn’t fall for “the crush of the campus boy next door type” yes every girl in school was crushing on him and daydreaming about him that , senior hottie who would always pass by at lunchtime before my science class, hahahaha.. and who would have thought that a nobody sophomore could interest that lad, not to brag but I am indeed bragging, that lucky lady was me, who would have thought that just sitting and reading a book would catch his attention, but surprisingly when that fated day came and that boy crush did get to know who I am and did invite me to grab a snack, that day when even your high school best-buddy  is more excited than you are (sherry if you are reading this, yes this is no other than you and the guy is A***N  if u still can remember him. 🙂 hahahaha ) , then right then and there you noticed his pal who always came along with him (that weird smiling mestizo guy, tall,neat,always smells good and undeniably cute,and I did remember seeing  him twice on campus and you wouldn’t notice him each time he would pass your science class cause he is right behind your all time biggest crush), and then I asked myself “who is that guy again? ” and just like that , my heart flutters for someone else. , That guy who passes your crush letters to you, who calls you to the lobby when your crush has something to tell you, ha! he is the trusted sidekick , story of my life in high school,hahahaha, but I was smart enough to let a crush be a crush and I didn’t fall on the trap of getting caught in between that messy situation.

I did remember having a lot of crushes then , and I learned that “its okay to admire someone and almost anyone as long as you know where your boundaries are”. High school was all about having to meet new people, learning new skills , passing  your subjects and being RANK. 1 in class (or at least not failing)  and having more time for fun and adventures, we were still young and unprepared for what LOVE beholds then.

Then comes college and the time after college, the even more complicated level of LOVE,pardon me loves, but I really don’t want to discuss this timeline , I believe it is something to be kept personal compared to that HS crush story, But all I can say is ” We don’t meet people by accident, they are meant to cross our path for a reason” and these reasons could have hurt us or make us stronger or make us weak, or become better, each of the people we have LOVED and we still continue loving had made a eminent mark on our lives , the memories we keep are the proof that yes,LOVE is difficult but that did not stop us from feeling fragile and trying to feel again,

” LIFE does not always introduce you to the people you want to meet, sometimes life put’s you in touch with the people you need to meet– to HELP you, HURT you, LEAVE you and to LOVE you and to gradually strengthen you into the person you were meant to BECOME” . No relationship is ever a waste of time. If it didn’t bring what you want, It taught you what you needed. My relationship now is far beyond perfect and We are struggling with so many issues, now your biggest enemy is TIME, CAREER and well LIFE.

You just need to LOVE yourself more, have more faith that this time things would go the way you want it to be, but if it doesn’t at least be happy that there was once that part of your life  that you were happy and it left you with really good memories. Everyday is a SECOND CHANCE to get that happiness that you have always dreamed of, ” you cant always protect your heart, sometimes the only way to be safe is to open it” …sometimes you have to stop thinking too much and just go where your heart takes you!  ” IF YOU WERE HAPPY WITH THE WRONG ONE, JUST THINK  HOW HAPPY YOU WILL BE WHEN THE RIGHT ONE COMES “.. and those fragile feelings of yours, acknowledge it, it is part of you being human, saying ” I am afraid to love and not be loved in return”. when realizations like this comes, that’s when you will know that you indeed without a doubt have experienced LOVE.


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